~In the Name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful~
When I look at my SPM result,I feel like frustated because I did'nt achieve my target,which is straight A's.. Actually deep in myself I really not so confidence with my vision because based on my achievement from form 4,it is quite impossible to get the flying colours result..But meh,all of my friends have the same target, the teachers told us to shoot the same target,the principal keep babbling about the same target..How can I let myself not in the challenge?
I got moderate result because of moderate study and moderate pray to Lord..I try to figure out how to calm myself after seeing my friends,one by one is applying the scholars,MARA,JPA and what-so-ever they can do to grab the chance to fly to oversea..ME??Just watch and crying out loud in my heart..What can I apply with my result??
Oh yes..there is one I applied under JAIK and with education fund from Yayasan Islam Kedah..Course Syari'ah and Islamic Studies at Jordan..Once I felt very delighted because of the chance Lord givin' to me..But still my parents don't allow me..They worry to much about my expenditures if I go there..And yeah,it's normal..Without the guarantee fund from the Yayasan Islam,plus others news that they heard from their friend's lovely son and daughter that suffer from insufficient money to live there,they're very hard to let me flying without wings (cehh)..
And when I checked my UPU result,I got a place at UiTM Kedah,with my targeted course,LAW...So I'm between happy and sad,excited and depressed or being rejoiced or melancholy..I carry my frustated heart to UiTM...Departed from house,nothin' were come out from my mouth..Neither words nor comment doesn't voice out from my lips..Everything in that day was fully controlled with my parents that enjoyed with the offer...The university is nearby my house,and yet I get their expected course(also mine) plus I don't have to be at Jordan dying because doesn't have enough money to live...
I stand at the Merbok,feeling satisfy but like be in hell..Everything starting from the MDS is like "ughhh what the hell??" and when come into class "how can I catch up with my new friends??" and "what??class repp.?? not again!!" (because so many times I feel suffer holding a post)..And I also feel like wanna goin' back to KI taking STPM...I still can continue in Law actually but still I manage to get better condition with better people there..Yeah that's my impressions towards UiTM Kedah and the people in there...Quite prejudice huh??
But then,the time pass by,and I've learnt a lot even I'm just havin' my time about 2 months there..For the sake of God,I've just feel the awesomeness in UiTM Kedah!(woah over)..The lecturers,the study, the library, the wifi,the friends,the scandals even the cafe's cashier are very pure awesomeness! Maybe there's somethin' like deficiency that UiTM Kedah have,but still I get to manage well my life here..
I was thinking I can't live without the bi'ah solehah,with friends prepared with tarbiah,their mouth always tazkirah and their songs always qasidah(even I don't always listening to qasidah)....But one day I stood still at the corridor and think that all that happen in between the timeline of my life now,everything was compiled well by Lord of the 'Alamin..
|Coward butterfly never get out from the cocoon|
Sometimes we think our former study place was the best,yeah it's normal when we boarding to new place... We still can't forget the oldies,that we laugh and cry and sing and study together..We can't forget the very nice one teachers that really care about us and sometimes treated us like his/her sons/daughter.. And the best thing we had in the oldschool was the moment we live and havin' fun with school life together with our boyfriends and girlfriends (please don't misunderstand this terms)...
But yet we still have a long journey to go..If we still stick with the old style,we don't have the civilisation in ourself..Just the old and remain old..Somehow we must accept change that happen in our timeline..If we only had happy time everyday in our life,how could we can survive if someday a big obstacles happen??
So Almighty Lord have prepared ourself in this young age,to face the hardness in life..To choose between the good and evil..to know and recognize what is bad and evil..To take the best among the best when making decision..
Whoever don't recognize what is sinister,he or she did not know how to escape from doin' bad meet evil thing...We can't always be angel,and we don't live in paradise..The path that Lord prepare for us is not as easy as fill in the blank when filling the UPU form..If we scare and can't have enough strength to destroy the wall of pain and shame in our heart,then we are loser!Total loser!
Wake up from sleep..wake up from dreamin'..One place may not simply as nice as the old ones.. Nice bi'ah, friends with tarbiah,everyday with sunnah...But yet still we have to make a decision to be a daredevil.. Not a devil..a DARE DEVIL!
|I'm blind,and I use my blindness to defeat evil-DareDevil|
Dare devil will run from the hell life,escape from the vices,not joining to do the wicked things!When it comes to good deed,you are the first one who start it..And when it comes to bad deed,you are the one who avoid it..
And the most important among the importants,be happy for what you're doin' now..Don't let the past overshadowed yourself..Don't let the cowardness of being bad guy or mischief girl stopped you from tryin' to know the world better..Neither you are doctor,engineer,lawyer,teacher,philosopher or what-so-ever, nor you will departed for overseas studies,or just having a local studies,still you have to be proud and keep on goin' to stand still on your step to achieve your life's vision and mission!!
Keep calm and say,all is well! :)
#dedicated to all my oldschool friends,which I found most of us very scared about the new life in university and having so much misery when remembering about the moment in KI (sweet la kononnya)